The Decompression of a Boomer

Let me make it perfectly clear at the get-go here: I am not hormonal. My body is well past menopause and I no longer succumb to hormone-induced fist-slinging mood swings or irrational outbursts. Right?? Think ‘mellowed’ … ‘calm’… ‘collected’.

Unless something happens that totally, rationally, logically, and justifiably pisses me off. Then, well, you’d better get out of the kitchen.

So yeah, I suffered a meltdown recently. Over a Samsung DVD Player we bought not even a year ago – Wi-fi, HDMI compatible, high definition, with remote. Except, somehow, we lost the remote (not going into it). And the player doesn’t function without a remote. Well, there are two buttons on the front of the device, ‘on/off’ and ‘eject’ but every other function, for example, ‘play’, ‘fast forward’ ‘stop’ – is controlled by the remote.

“No problem. I’ll just go buy a universal remote and hook it up.” I said, ever so calmly.

Drove to Best Buy, bought the remote – not bad – 15 bucks!

Problem solved!

RCA. Made in America. Simple and EASY to Use. Okay!

Get out the instructions.

Step 1: Manually turn on the device you want to control.

Yeah, sure. How about YOU turn it on? Our DVD Player has no power indicator light – giving you no clue as to whether it’s ‘on’ or ‘off’. If it’s ‘on’ vs. ‘off’ shouldn’t a little red indicator light turn on, or something, telling you that, yes, indeed, the device is on? I pick the thing up – look all over it – is the light on the side, the bottom? Surely there’s a power indicator light! Nope, there isn’t:

Is it ‘on’ or ‘off’? You tell me …

Oh but maybe you can’t open the sleeve that holds the DVD unless the device is turned on? Nada. No help. Even if the player is ‘off’ – you can still open the sleeve for the DVD.

Here, I took this demonstration video of our DVD Player (note: the root word in demonstration is ‘demon’):

There. You see. You plug it in – push the ‘power’ button and nothing happens. You plug it in, push ‘eject’ button -and ‘Ta-da!’ the sleeve pops open, even though the machine is ‘off’. But there is no “play’ button, so what the heck good is that? YOU NEED A REMOTE!

Well, whatever, I’ve got the remote now. So where was I??…

Step 2: Find the Code List that came with the remote. Find your device and brand in the Code list – Circle the codes for your brand and keep them handy:

The Samsung DVD player codes are handy

Check.

Step 3: Press and hold the device key (VCR key on the remote) – hold that key down and use other hand to enter the first five-digit code for your brand in the code list …

Okay. This I can do.

Then there’s Step 4. Here – I took a photo:

Short version of step 4:
‘Prepare for meltdown’

Okay, to review, you turn on your DVD player manually. (Problematic in this case.) Then hold down the device key on the universal remote, while entering the code for your brand of DVD that you got off the code list. To test whether the code took, you point the remote directly at the DVD player and press POWER on the remote, DID YOUR DEVICE TURN OFF?

WELL, I DON’T KNOW IF IT TURNED OFF, DO I? WAS IT EVEN ON?

If the remote hasn’t turned off your DVD player, then you try the next code. If that code doesn’t work, then you enter the next code, and if that code doesn’t work then you enter the next …

Note the tip in fine print at the bottom of step 4: TIP: Because there are so many codes, you may have to press the POWER key many times – possibly hundreds of times.

WHAT?

Did you notice the number of codes on the code sheet for the Samsung DVD player?:

10 different codes for Samsung?

How many hundreds of times will I need to push the power key, and HOW DO I KNOW WHAT CODE WORKS AND WHAT DOESN’T SINCE THERE IS NO POWER INDICATOR LIGHT ON THE FRIGGIN’ THING SO I DON’T KNOW IF AND WHEN THE SORRY-ASSED-&%*$%*& DVD PLAYER IS ‘ON’ OR ‘OFF’!

I was screaming this at the inert DVD player sitting on our kitchen counter, when David walked in from upstairs.”Do you have a problem?’ I sucked in a gulp of air and attempted to explain to him, using a seething inside voice, how I got to this moment and the horrible situation I was in with this crappy DVD player with no power indicator light (who bought this thing in the first place?) which rendered it impossible to connect to a universal remote where one of ten codes might work and I would probably figure out which one did if only I could communicate telepathically with the DVD player about whether it was ON, or OFF, couldn’t the DVD player give me some kind of sign?

“Why don’t you violently stab the front of the DVD player with an ice pick, honey?” I said. “Smash some holes through front panel to expose the mother board so at least maybe sparks will fly out of it when we turn it on.”

“Spare yourself, Jody, and buy a new one.” David suggests. “They don’t cost much.”

I headed back over to Best Buy. Gave the strapping male clerk an earful about the last DVD player we bought here – how ridiculous! No power indicator light! Had he heard other complaints about this? (No. Not a one…) Well, it was a Samsung DVD player, and while one is interested in such features as HD, wireless, HDMI compatible, and such, who would even think you’d have to ask for a POWER INDICATOR LIGHT! What a rip-off! So what else do you have – NOT buying Samsung again! It must cost maybe a penny to add a tiny little indicator light, don’t manufacturers in Korea understand human nature?!! How can I be assured the new one I get has an indicator light? Oh. I see. From the picture on the box.

Came home with a new player with all the current technological bells and whistles for 70 bucks. You can see from the photo on the box, it’s most precious quality – a power indicator light. Whoopee!

I still have the Samsung player. I hate to donate it to a thrift store, even though it’s practically new. Someone will buy it for almost nothing thinking they’re in DVD heaven, all they need to do is program a universal remote to operate it. Yeah. I don’t want my actions to impel some poor soul, maybe already living on the edge, to drive him/herself off the deep end trying to figure out whether that DVD player is ‘on’ or ‘off’.

Tags: Best Buy, LG DVD player, Post menopausal melt down, Samsung DVD player with no power indication light.

This entry was posted on February 28, 2018 at 8:08 am and is filed under post menopause, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.